Thursday, February 2, 2012

Bringing up Z

I was reading this beautiful blog post written by one of my blogging/mommy friend - Sumita on 'Simple things which come a long way' and it made me realize how we as parents start thinking about how we would want to raise our kids the moment we get the news that we are expecting a baby. I was no different, I always thought I'd bring up Z the way I wanted to (most of which I have learned from my parents). So I can read 1000's of pregnancy books, 100's of online article but the biggest thing that I rely on (and will continue to do so) is motherly instinct.

I loved my growing up years (most of em) and I'd like to raise Z keeping those in mind. I was an extremely lucky kid when I think of my parents. I had a chilled out childhood, I mean how many parents (back then) would encourage a child to give equal importance to extra-curricular activities and studies. I was a pretty average student, you can say above average (because I hardly studied and still I managed to get decent grades through out my student life). For me, my extra-curricular activities were the focus of my student life. Dance, dramatics, declamation, creative writing, these were the things my life revolved around back then. And I strongly believe these things have made me confident, taught me importance of team work, importance of winning and losing. My mom made one thing extremely clear - you don't neglect your studies and I won't stop you from participating. I would want Z to indulge in a wide variety of activities and wouldn't want her to be engrossed just in her studies.

Dance is something that is a very important part of my life. My mum realized that pretty early and I learned Bharatnatyam for a good 8 years. I want to enroll Z for Ballet, if she is as keen to learn it. Why Ballet, because I personally love that dance form and would love to see Z perform one day. If she doesn't want to learn dance and wants to take up something else it'll be her call.

Reading is something mum loves and we (my elder sister and me) have taken that up (really don't know why my kid sister is anti books-but that's another story). When Api and I were really small we already had 25-30 Ladybird stories books. Faizan is equally in love with books, so Z already have 7-8 books. These aren't enough for her, she loves scanning through my books and magazines as well. I think books build your imagination, you go in a totally different world when you are in the company of books. Besides your grammar and language improves immensely - if you choose the right kind of books. And of course you get to know so much more when you read.

Traveling is another interest that Fizz and I share. We've traveled together, with family, alone, with friends. And we just can't seem to get enough of it. When we had to make a choice between a big 1st birthday bash for Z or a small fun family vacation in Goa. We chose the later, in a matter of 1 year Z is already had 7 flight and a train journeys. I would want to travel with Z to loads of places and make vacations/holidays full of memories for her.

I had an extremely unhealthy childhood. Nothing to do with mum and dad I just ate everything unhealthy and lots of it. I realized the importance of health very late in life. I'd want Z to know benefits of good health and an active lifestyle. She might or might not like sports but Self-Defense is something I would like her to learn (even if it is at the basic level).

I love my family, I may not show it but I do, but I have a little, a teeny weeny problem with relatives. Not all of em of course, but definitely the ones who are too interfering. I would like to tell Z to respect relatives but not to live in awe of them. Listen to them, but do what you and your parents agree is right. I wouldn't want her to unnesarilay argue with them (that's something I do which is BAD).

I've heard people say that I'm brutally honest. I'm and I love being like that. I don't like lying and I have not learned how to play around with words. I would want to be completely honest to Z and would want to answer all her questions/queries as honestly as possible (at times I'd have to make up things - white lies, but that's ok). So that Z learns to be honest and truthful.

Both Faizan and me are extremely particular about managing our finances and I would like to instill the value of money and importance of saving in Z's life. In today's day and age with peer pressure building up and people showing off, I know this would be difficult to say the least but then we as parents can't run away from our basic responsibilty of bringing up kids.

Another thing that I learned from my dad is that he never enforced his decisions on us. And both of us believe we won't ever do that with Z either. We are always there to give suggestions when she wants, tell her whats right and wrong, but eventually it'd be Z who would make her decision.

I can go on and on and say I want her to be this... do that, all parents want the best for the babies and I'm no different. The most important thing I want for her is, Z should grow up to be happy, healthy, secure, confident individual with a kind heart and strong personality. I want her to believe in herself and to learn that even the smallest effort can make a big difference. I always want her to remain the happy soul that she is right now, like me... I would want her to keep the child within her alive always.

Love you my baby.  And remember when and if you read this... these are things that we want... and not necessarily things that you'd want in life.

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