Friday, September 30, 2011

Guest Post - This is especially for my Love

I am in love… the kind of love that I have never experienced before. This is totally different, as I have no expectation from the other party because I know she loves me too.  I am all lost in her thoughts, she makes me smile, her acts are so funny that they take away all my stress. She has the cutest smile in this world and best pout (PS: Even Priyanka Chopra, my favorite actress, is “Paani cum Chai” in front of her). At times she keeps me awake till 3-4 in the morning, at times she sleeps for good 10 hours at night. And you know what…I love to see her sleeping. She has her own set of tantrums and I love to do whatever she wants me to.  She loves to shop, and I love to spend on her. She is my darling Daughter ZOE.
Zoe is one of the best things that happened to me another best thing was when I met her Mother, Falak. Before Zoe came to my life I used to avoid infants. The only thought of having a kid was enough for me to run away. Thanks to my sisters and brothers, I have seen their babies and I used wonder why do people carry a baby around everywhere. I used to think life can be good without a child. Why can’t they be born as toddlers or for that matter as adults? Why do they always have to cry? Why are they so delicate? A baby to me came with lots of question marks.

All my questions were answered when Zoe came into my life. She changed the way I looked at babies. She gave birth to a father to a completely new person actually. Now, I love kids. I understand them; understand their language which they communicate through touch, expression, smiles and tantrums ofcourse.

Now when I look back, I wonder how I survived without Zoe being in my life. If I don’t see her for few hours, I feel a kind of a vacuum. I rush back home after work because I know I will be welcomed by a sweet smile. No matter how bad the day is at work, her smile makes my day.

Thank you my little pumpkin for blessing me by being my daughter.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Month 10: Zoe on the Move

Zoe now a days is always on-the-go... It feels like she is going to take part in a marathon of some sort...

She has been moving all around the apartment and doesn't even need an energy drink. Not just cardio, she is also doing rock climbing (read objects like tables, people's legs, her crib etc.), push-ups, sit-ups, et al.

I checked with her Ped if it was O.K... And she said "Look at her, she is so active. You should be happy"... There I turn to see Zoe trying to pull herself out from her dad's firm grip.

A couple of weeks back I was terribly upset with the shape I was in. Now I know, its gonna be OK in a matter of some months. Considering the fact that I have to run after Zoe, pulling her away from table corners, drawers, newspapers, plugs and what not. She is a nice and healthy baby now (Mashallah) so after my workout and running after Zoe, pulling her back, picking her up... By the end of the day I literally have no energy left. My body aches from the day long full-body workout.

I always look forward to my weekends where I can hand over Z to Faizan and relax. Strangely, when I get the time to do that, I miss my running around Zoe... Ahhhhhh motherhood.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Not fit to be a Mom...

Zoe got up earlier than usual today... why today? I just came back to Bangalore last night from a nice but tiring holiday... the house was in a mess, spent most of my night cleaning up with Faizan, I wanted to sleep till late as it was a Sunday... but Zoe had other plans. I let her first babble and then cry in her crib for a good 5 minutes before I decided to pick my baby up. Yeah... Yeah I know you all must be thinking what kind a mom am I... How can I let my baby cry for 5 long minutes.

Well, this is me... a mother who doesn't want to lose herself in the process of becoming a mom. That does not for sure means becoming selfish when it comes to Zoe. For me becoming a parent (especially a mother) is about learning and unlearning, about discovering yourself and not forgetting about yourself. It's about exploring a whole new world with your baby's eyes. More than anything else I believe in enjoying the entire process and not becoming stressed over small things.

For me bringing up a baby is not only a mom's responsibility but dads should be equally responsible. That is why when Faizan wants to do something (a lot of things) for Zoe I don't mind at all. I let him do it, in fact I like it as, because of Faizan I get the much needed time with myself.

People who know me tell me 'what kind of mum are you?', 'how can you let Faizan take care of the baby alone?', 'you are a mother, you should not sleep till late on weekends'... In short they think I'm not fit to be a mom...

I don't need to answer them, I know that I might not be the 'conventional mother' but I'm The Perfect Mother for Zoe. If that would not have been the case, why would a crying Zoe only become quiet in my lap? why does she only want to cling on to me when my baby is not feeling good?, why does she need me when she is sleepy? My Zoe might not convey it to me in words (just yet) but I know when she would be able to speak she will tell me... "Mumsu, you are fit to be only Zoe's mum, Love u"