|Image courtesy: Ask Emma|
We parents are known as selfless, giving, emotional fools, who give it all to their children. We can do anything and everything for them.... wait-wait-WAIT. Does that really happen? OK happens often (sometimes), does that always happen... I don't think so.
I don't know what happened in the 'olden days' when we were kids, but now-a-days, all of us are so busy.
We need time for work, we take out time for social networking, we even plan our holidays. All of this adds on to stress in our already busy and stressful lifestyle. I mean even planning a vacation has become stressful, so you need to get stressed to de-stress yourself…. hmmmmm… interesting.
What happens when we get stressed? We take it till we can handle it all and then ... boom! It all comes out as rage or anger or a rant and on the receiving end are our loved ones. We take it out on our spouse, (who is expected to act maturely and understand the situation, well s/he does the same…) our parents. The worst thing to happen is taking it out on kids (especially when they are younger)... easy target, gullible, we can easily apologies to them (or not), and they will be back to normal... I mean, they can't just do without their parents, right? WRONG!!!
What wrong have they done? Why should they be at the receiving end? Why should they bear the consequences, because we are stressed? I used to do the same, I used to take it all out on Z, and I can't express how bad I felt when I realized that I was wrong... the good thing is, I realized before it was too late, but the thought of going back there still haunts me.
How did realize, well, couple of things, the number of time I shouted at her without any fault of hers increased and Z always responded with "I'm not talking to you". That broke my heart into a million pieces. I heard Z tell someone, 'Mamma always likes shouting," that was like a slap on my face. I knew, most of the time I shouted was because I was worked up and Z was just acting normally.
With Z, the thing is, she goes all out there to make sure, I know she isn't happy with the way I behaved and it was no fault of hers. Now when I want some peace of mind, I just go away from Z for a couple of minutes, these minutes work miraculously to cool me down.
In our relationship with our child, aren't we supposed to be the more mature one? The parent? The grown up? How can we just give it out to them, and expect them to not feel bad? These kids are also human beings...
At times, we might feel, it is OK to shout at our kids when we are having a bad day, but it isn't... it isn't fair. Your bad day is your problem, not your child's... it's as simple as that.