Manners, a word we tend to forget about and/or we think, we are too cool for manners. Unfortunately, the truth is manners make you cool. I've (we, hubby & I) always been particular, that our 5 year old always says her thank you, sorry, excuse me, pardon, from her heart... It comes very naturally to her.
Today, in the morning, when she spoke to my house help (who she refers to as Aunty) in a loud tone, I was sure she needs to apologize. When she didn't, I took the matters in my hands. Instead of forcing her to apologize, which wouldn't have solved the purpose... I had this conversation with her:
Me: You did something wrong in the kitchen, do you remember?
Z: No.... Hmmmm what Mumsy?
Me: Think about it... Something you said to Aunty.
Z: (after thinking) Maybe I shouted at her.
Me: You did certainly shout at her.
Z: oooo... Sorry Mumsy.
Me: You need to apologize to Aunty
Z: (trying to avoid it)...but I'm scared
Me: No Z, you have to do this. You have to apologize.
Z: Can I get some time out (that's the phrase she uses when she wants to be left alone)
Me: Sure, but you know what to do...
After 2-3 minutes, she entered the kitchen apologised to the house help, smiled at her, gave a little hug and went back in her room... After a couple minutes I entered her room. Another thing, we believe in as a family is giving space to each other. I sat beside her, squeezed her hand
Z: Thank you Mumsy.
Me: (smiling) Do you feel better now?
Z: Yes Mumsy, I love you.