To Fizz with Love...

I keep on telling these things to Fizz, but we tend to forget it ourselves. Both of us are so busy with our lives… Work is going good, we are happy (Mash Allah) but very very very busy. Handing our individual assignments, a toddler and a house without any help or any family besides us close by, it can be extremely taxing. We end up hurting the ones we love and hurting ourselves.

I miss our pre-Zoe times just because of this. Zoe has sure completed our family but when it comes to the 2 of us, we have time for everything and everyone but us. We’ve always been the best of friends and then a couple… I don’t want that to change.

So this one is for you Fizz:

• It’s very important we take out time for ourselves, I miss those days.
• A lunch or dinner date without Zoe looks impossible as of now, but whenever we can we will do it.
• We’ve become parents, that doesn’t mean we have no time to pamper/compliment/take care of each other. (This is more for me than you.)
• Whatever time we spend at home it’s either with Zoe or in front of our respective laptops. I guess the laptop time sure has to reduce. I know our work requires us to be in front of the laptop, but we can take out an hour a day at least.
• Lastly, we have managed to take at least 2 vacations a year since Zoe became a part of our lives… we have to keep this tradition going strong.

Lots of Love…

Some more Z-ness

The toddler has been on the roll right now, I can't believe my eyes when I see the changes in her on an almost daily basis...

• Can't wait for her school to start, which will start in June In Sha Allah. The Toddler knows the name of her school, she keeps saying "Lets go to See-Saks" which mean Siksha (the name of the school she'll join)
• If you are sitting quietly and not responding to her, she leaves every thing and says - Kya Hua... What Happened. 
• Fizz loves taking a nap on Sunday afternoons, but now courtesy the toddler he hardly rests for a minute or so. The moment he makes himself comfortable on the bed... the toddler starts Uthiye ... lets go and she literally drags him out of the bed.
• The Toddler loves her manners (at least till now), she always remembers her Sorry, You're Welcome and Excuse Me, you do not need to remind her. She is a little averse to saying Please... Whenever I remind her "Zoe say Please..." she says "No" 
• This is from my Facebook status - Everytime I utter a word Zoe says "Shhhhhh... Mommy please quiet!" And she starts her chatting. Now temme whose the boss... I mean mom... :-( No one has ever done this to me... Sob Sob.

 Now I leave you with some pictures we clicked of Zoe over the weekend.

A Letter to the Little Lady in my Life!

Dear Zoe,

I'm writing this letter to you on International Women's Day, I know you would not be able to remember much of this day, but I will make sure to make women's day special for you every single year. 

Sweetheart you are so amazing (Mash'Allah), you are silly, funny, loud, smart and everything I wanted you to be and a lot more. I want you to be this amazing ALWAYS. Just a few things I would like to tell you:

• You should listen to what others are saying ONLY IF YOU WANT TO. Never blindly follow what someone says or does or thinks. Make your own decisions. 
• You are Strong and always remember that.
• Being a girl doesn't mean anyone and everyone has the right to tell you how to dress 'appropriately'. 
• If people tell you to be silent and stop you from voicing your opinion, that gives you all the more reason speak up. 
• Do not show you are foolish, emotional, weak to everyone around you to gain sympathy. You do NOT need sympathy, be strong
• You might love Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty or playing dress up, I used to love them too. Explore The Dragon Prince, racing cars, fire engines and dump trucks.
• Many tales end with Happily Ever After. Do not let your Happily Every After be based on one moment, do not wait for some Prince Charming to come and sweep you off your feet. Your Happily Ever After should depend on you, you can make moments and life happy. You can be absolutely happy without a Prince Charming, but if you do meet someone you fall in love with, he will have to fall in love with who you  are - with exactly whatever you are. (and vice versa). Changing for someone is oh so not worth it. 
• Remember you are capable of doing anything... changing tyres, flying jets, anything you want. 
• Eat healthy and workout regularly (do what you like Zumba, Aerobics, weight training, swimming, yoga, anything but do it regularly). If you will be healthy you will be able to enjoy your chocolates, ice-creams, cupcakes et al even more.
• There would be those days when you will want to be slimmer/fatter, fairer, richer, brighter, taller, or you would also want to become a boy at times, laugh those days off, do not take them seriously. Be happy in what you are. Remember what your favorite Dr. Seuss said “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
• Keep your love for reading alive... read a lot and travel a lot more (seeing how you have enjoyed the vacations we have taken, you love this as well). These things come naturally to you, and you get to learn so much.
• Have a very strong relationship with God, trust me the best moment of my life has been when I say my Namaaz and have a conversation with Him. You will find your way to connect, but do stay connected, it will help keep you at peace with yourself and the world around you.
• Respect and be nice to people who matter and who love you, but do not forget to respect/love yourself. DO NOT LET ANYONE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU - Yes people do that.
• This is something I have learned the hard way and I want you to know, do not rebel just for the heck of it (actually never do anything for the heck of it). Raise your voice and rebel when you actually and really need to. 
• Never do things because YOU ARE EXPECTED TO DO SO. Mamma hardly cooks - remember. If you like cooking and when you want to do it. Same goes with anything and everything.
• Dress up and take care of yourself. That does not mean you become a Fashion Victim.
• People who do not have a mind of their own follow anything and everything their peers do. You my girl are my Smarty Pants.
• Not all guys out there are foolish (remember your Fizz if that thought crosses your mind)

I know there are lots more things I need to add... will do it

Lots of Love 
Mommy

 And here is something I want you to read, you will love it:

For My Daughter -By Sarah McMane

“Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.” – Clementine Paddleford

Never play the princess when
you can be the queen
rule the kingdom, swing a scepter,
wear a crown of gold.
Don’t dance in glass slippers,
crystal carving up your toes --
be a barefoot Amazon instead,
for those shoes will surely shatter on your feet.

Never wear only pink
when you can strut in crimson red,
sweat in heather grey, and
shimmer in sky blue,
claim the golden sun upon your hair.
Colors are for everyone,
boys and girls, men and women --
be a verdant garden, the landscape of Versailles,
not a pale primrose blindly pushed aside.

Chase green dragons and one-eyed zombies,
fierce and fiery toothy monsters,
not merely lazy butterflies,
sweet and slow on summer days.
For you can tame the most brutish beasts
with your wily wits and charm,
and lizard scales feel just as smooth
as gossamer insect wings.

Tramp muddy through the house in
a purple tutu and cowboy boots.
Have a tea party in your overalls.
Build a fort of birch branches,
a zoo of Legos, a rocketship of
Queen Anne chairs and coverlets,
first stop on the moon.

Dream of dinosaurs and baby dolls,
bold brontosaurus and bookish Belle,
not Barbie on the runway or
Disney damsels in distress --
you are much too strong to play
the simpering waif.

Don a baseball cap, dance with Daddy,
paint your toenails, climb a cottonwood.
Learn to speak with both your mind and heart.
For the ground beneath will hold you, dear --
know that you are free.
And never grow a wishbone, daughter,
where your backbone ought to be.

 

Gearing up for CSAAM 2013

Dear Friends, April 2013 is a month away, and we are gearing up for the 3rd year of CSAAM. As you are all aware, through the month of April we talk about the menace of CSA across social media, via Facebook, twitter and blogs. We count on your support and participation as always.

Partnering us in our efforts this year will be organisations working in this field like Arpan, Tulir, Human Rights Watch as well as online initiatives like Blogadda and Womens Web.

You will see personal testimonials, expert advice, twitter chats, information sources, resources, workshops, an iPhone app and lots and lots of blog posts across the blogosphere.

We need to get people talking about this elephant in the room. If you would like to post on your blogs, do send us a tentative date, so we can schedule your post in. If you would like to participate in a twitterthon, do let us know. Even forwarding this email to anyone you think might be interested in participating and contributing would be welcome.

If you would like to add to the discussion or know somebody else who would, please note that we welcome entries
• mailed to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com OR
• posted as FB notes and linked to Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month Page OR
• posted on your own blog with the badge and linked to the main blog OR
• linked or posted on Twitter tagged twitter.com/CSAAwareness OR
• Anonymous contributions are accepted and requests for anonymity will of course be honoured.
• You can also support us simply by adding our the logo of the initiative to your blog’s sidebar. Grab the code below to do so http://csaawarenessmonth.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/batch-code-txt-2013.docx
• Please remember to send in a mail with all necessary links or just your input to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com so that we can track your contribution and make sure that it is not inadvertently lost or something.

Some guidelines
1) Please precede the title of your post with CSAAM April 2013. Then add a hyphen and your title.
2) Please insert the badge html in your post. If you carry it on your sidebar for the entire month of April too apart from just within your post, we would be honoured.
3) If you refer to sources for information kindly italicise that part of your post which is taken from the source and provide the link to the original source in a bracket.
4) And finally please avoid graphic descriptions of the abuse. Stay as factual as possible if you’re doing first 

person accounts.
 

We need all your help to make this month a success, and are counting on your support.
We look forward to hearing from you.
 

Warm regards,
CSAAM team

 

 

22nd February 2013 - the night still gives me shudders

Night of 22nd February qualifies as the Worst night of my life so far. I felt so helpless as a mom, I stood there and was trying to understand what was happening to my baby. She was her chirpy self throughout the day, when Fizz reached home at 8:45, he told me she was warm, I said can't be. I felt her and frankly I didn't feel she was warm. She was her loud chirpy self till 11.15pm when Fizz told me she's shivering, I looked at her and she shivered again. I took her in my lap and she wasn't reacting. She just kept looking at a spot, and wasn't reacting. We took her to Fortis, The 10 mins drive from our house to Fortis was the longest drive of our life. I know I was feeling terrible, but now when I look back at the situation... I just keep on thinking of Fizz, he kept on saying "Main Zoe ko kuch nahin hone doonga..." At Fortis when the doctor examined her he told, she became unconscious because of the sudden rise in temperature. This had happened once to me as well, guess that's the reason why it happened to my baby... I'm sorry baby.

The doctors immediately controlled her temperature and soon my baby was conscious. Afterward, she underwent some tests and kept under observation for 24 hours as she had high fever. The tests were normal (ALHAMDULLILAH) and she has recovered well. She was a bit sleepy, which is totally logical. 

Seeing Zoe Alhamdullilah, happily playing with Fizz brings a smile on my face today. Allah has been really kind on us, I love my baby.

Z-ness Part II

Here are some of the things the Toddler has been up to these days:

• She has started telling stories and mock reads her books loudly. The other day she was sitting with "10 apples up on Top" by Dr. Seuss. She sat confidently and on every page she said "3 Appul up on top, look see u 3, I 4 appul on top". That happened on every single page :)).
• She also makes stories with Makka Pakka, teletubbies and upsy daisy (CBeebies magic is still going strong). Besides this, she tries to tell us Gafallo (Gruffalo) at night. Her recent favorite character is Barney.
• Her favorite song now a days is "Naino mein sapna" from Himmatwala, so 30 yrs back, her parents were almost Z's age when the original Himmatwala released. And I remember dancing on this one (donno since when) all I remember is mom had this song recorded on VHS :-P
• She loves watching FoodFood on TV (can you beat that). She loves this particular show Turban Tadka, because of the chef, and the way he sings while cooking
• She wants to live on Juice (apple juice) though I don't give in to her demand. Once I told her "Apple Juice simis" (finish in the toddler's bhasha) and gave her water instead. She pushed the glass away, and I said "My God! What attitude" and phatt she replied "MyOod What tatude"

Momsters Debut GIVEAWAY

Team Momsters is Super excited about this post, its our very 1st - Giveaway. We love Giveaways and we've been very busy planning this one just for you. Momsters recently crossed 200 followers on Facebook in less than a month. We wanted to Thank each one of you, you've made our beginning so special, and showered all your love, hence its time to celebrate.

Two lucky Momsters' readers out there will win 2 absolutely fabulous products, hand-picked by Momsters just for you.

To get more details check Momsters Debut Giveaway

What was the school thinking?

Yes I do over-react and specially when it is something related to kids, I really do. Here today at BZM I want to put across a question to you?
An extremely popular Delhi preschool recently uploaded their Annual Day pictures, and someone I know on Facebook commented on these pictures, so I thought of browsing through the colorful pictures.
I was not prepared for what I saw a few clicks later. There were 2 pictures of a little boy and girl getting married. I was shocked to see the same.

Do check the pictures here:

Picture1

Picture2

What are we teaching/showing our children by doing in a preschool's Annual day function. I did think about it, but I got no answer at all.

What do you think? Am I over-reacting or something.

A Day to remember...

12th February this day has always been special in my life. Today, I complete 6 years of being engaged to Fizz, yes it is our engagement anniversary (if there is something like that). I seriously cannot imagine anyone but Fizz as my life partner. He is my best friend, and that is all I wanted my husband to be over and above anything else. With the toddler our family Mash'Allah is complete.

This is a huge reason to remember this day, but there is a bigger reason. It is AJ's birthday, my AJ was the best dad I could have asked for. On his birthday I miss him a lot, I miss being with him today more than any other day. So, this is a special post for A.J. He might not be besides me, but I know he is always with me. 

"You were the coolest dad one could have asked for, I can say that without any doubt. You were someone who believed in us and always stood besides us no matter what. I miss you so much on this day and I feel so so so blessed to have a dad like you."

Here is a link of the song, that makes me think of A.J. 

Love you A.J! Miss you...

Project 52 Week 6: And my day was made!

I love being with myself and I don't mind spending some moments every day lost in my thoughts. When I come out of my zone, I usually do not remember what was I thinking about, but those moments leave me all fresh and energetic. With a toddler around, one usually does not get those kind of moments. You actually have to search for them. Today, I was disturbed when I hate it the most, yes... it was one of those moments. And you guessed it right, it was the Toddler who came barging in my privacy. What was different, is that I did not mind it at all. I did feel even better after what happened.

So here is what happened... I was busy staring at the sky in the evening over a cup of chai. (Isn't cool Bangalore evening, a terrace to chill on and a pipping hot cup of tea all you want sometime?). The toddler was busy with her cycle, I could hear her constant yapping in the background. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder, and someone constantly kept pulling my hair. I had no choice but to look at her, I was irritated (to put it mildly). The toddler came closer to me and said "What happened Mommie?" She apparently thought I wasn't in a good mood. She kissed me on my cheeks and hugged me tight saying "big hug". I smiled and the toddler went back to her ride.

She did not know her Mommie is looking at her with moist eyes (this is huge for someone who doesn't cry so easily). She did not know she has given a precious gift to her mommie... she did not know she has made her mom's day.

My baby who came in my arms (so small and so delicate) 2 years back, is growing into a sensitive little girl. I have totally mixed feelings about this.

And the Liebster Award goes to......

Friday early morning (actually before dawn) I picked my phone to check the time and I saw myself smiling ear to ear. The reason behind it was the mail which told me a comment was left on my blog. And when I checked the comment, I found out, I have been given the Liebster Award by Mehroo of From Miss India to Motherhood. I got so excited, I clicked on the link Mehroo sent me and checked her blog post for details. Firstly, a big thanks to Mehroo, for making my day.

Coming to the Liebster Award:
 

Liebster is a German word which means kindest, dearest, beloved, cute, endearing... This award is given to new or promising bloggers who have less than 200 followers.  it is then passed along to other bloggers in the same category.

RULES:

• Tell 11 Random facts about yourself
• Answer the questions the nominator has asked in their post
• Create 11 new questions for the bloggers you nominate
• Nominate 11 bloggers whose blogs you read frequently and who have less than 200 followers.
• Inform the nominee by commenting on one of their posts.
• No tag back

11 Random things about me:

1. I'm extremely straight forward and do not know how to be politically correct.
2. I have been overweight forever. I lost 30 kgs when in college, lost another 10 kgs (which I had put on after marriage), maintained my weight till Zoe was born. Now I'm at loggerheads with my weight again (hope results are similar to what they have been in the past).
3. I hate having regrets, there is this one regret I cannot get over. I wish I could've been with my dad when he took his last breath.
4. For Zoe and my Nephew I'm the best story teller in the world.
5. I run an Early Communication and Language Training program - My little Chatterbox for children between 3-10. I also have a parenting blog Momsters which I manage with my elder sister. 
6. I want to start a kid's library with a book club of my own. We need to instill the love of reading in the next generation.
7. I love dancing, I don't need any excuse to dance, I don't even need music at times.
8. I'm a lousy cook, who doesn't even know the so called basics.
9. I was a star debater in school, and I was more involved in extra-curricular activities than studies. 
10. I'm Extremely possessive about people I'm very close to (Fizz, Zoe, my parents and my sisters)
11. As a kid I used to think when Black and White movies were made, things were B/W in real life as well.

 Answer 11 questions set by the nominator:

1. Since how many months/years have you been blogging?

I have been blogging since November 2008 but I took it up seriously from when I started Being Zoe's Mom (from May 2010 onwards). Besides BZM I have a parenting blog Momsters and I also blog for some other parenting websites.

2. How many close family members do you have as followers on your blog?

Me and Faizan, I kept this blog private for a long time. Most of my family reads my posts but they do not follow the blog.

3. Has any family member/close friend been offended by what you might have written about them in your blog? You could elaborate if you wish.

My family gets offended all the time, maybe because I write what I believe in. This post of mine on Gender Stereotypes did give birth to a huge debate with someone I don't even know.

4. What has been the biggest challenge in blogging so far?

I love blogging, I cannot think of a single day I do not write something (except when I'm on a vacation). Till date I have not faced a real challenge, I think overcoming a 'blogger's block' will be a big challenge.

5. What is the best blogging time in the day for you?

For me, whenever I think of something I have to sit down and write. When I cannot do it, I feel totally helpless.

6. If you had just one piece of good advice to give a fresh blogger, what would it be?

Read a lot of blogs, take inspiration but do not copy.

7. How many incomplete posts have you written that you somehow couldn't complete? Why so?

None, I write a post in my head first, if I think of what all I need to write I can never leave a post incomplete. There are no incomplete drafts.

8. How has blogging helped you as a person?

I have always voiced my opinion and believe in being expressive. Blogging helps me get my 'me time' it is one of the biggest stress buster for me. It has also helped me interact with so many bloggers. I have become a part of the Blogging Marathon, which has so many bloggers. 

9. What is your ultimate blogging goal? Does it have a timeline?

For this blog it is being as regular as possible and meeting new moms around, with whom I can share my thoughts.

10. Do you have a friend who is also a blogger? Do you compete?

Yes, but we do not compete.

11. Give me your honest opinion about MY blog. 

I recently discovered Mehroo's blog and I love reading it. I do get a lot of tips, especially on books. 

 11 questions for my nominated bloggers:

1. If you can get to live a famous person's life for one day, who would it be and why?
2. What has the best blog post you have written (per you) and why do you think so?
3. What is the worst blogging mistake you have done and why do you think so? 
4. 1 book/movie charecter you would love to become for your life?
5. If you get to do just 1 thing for yourself in 2013 what would you do?
6. What’s the one food you’d wish to eat all the time and never get bored of? do not think about calories
7. When you were younger what did you want to become? What are your views about that profession now
8. What was your favorite fairy-tale as a kid? Why? Do you still like it as much?
9. What is the strangest thing about you?
10. What is your funniest childhood memory?
11. One person who has influenced you as a blogger.

11 Nominated Bloggers: HOLD YOUR BREATH...

1. Canvas of my thoughts 
2. My World through my spectacled eyes
3. The Cub & The Bub
4. Obsessive Mom
5. I Thinked!
6. Life as a Mom
7. Circles in the Sand
8. My Little One and Me
9. Shocks & Shoes
10. I write... Therefore, I am alive
11. Bits And Pieces