Reality Check: Wake Up and Smell The Coffee

I clearly remember having a huge discussion (read argument) with my elder sister on whether a woman should leave her job after having kids, to raise them of course... I was completely backing the stance of a full time working mom while my sister was pro SAHM (Stay at home moms).

Well, I guess I should’ve done a reality check before arguing... but it happens with me many a times, that I say things before thinking. Anyways, now with a baby and completely no one to help (except my husband of course, who has been a sweetheart and helps me way beyond what I imagined); I can’t think of working full time. I’m working as a freelancer and haven’t given up a career for good. Still people say things like:

“So you have finally given in and decided to become a homemaker?”

“Freelancer? When do you plan to take up a full time career?” 

People still feel that a woman can either be a good mom or a successful career woman... Well, I beg to disagree. as  

Being a mom is a full time job – yeah clichéd as it may sound, it is a fact

Freelancing is as good a career choice as being a full time career person

A successful career woman can be an equally successful mom, like a successful career dad...

Here I would say, to each her own. Whatever choice you make, make sure you decide way before the baby comes into your life; and once the decision is taken don’t regret it.

Mysteries that will always remain unsolved for me...

At times I sit and wonder (that is when I can take out time to ponder from my busy days)...
How can I love someone immensely who has just been with me for a little over than 4.5 months?
All Zoe does the entire day is pull my hair, drools till she wets my shoulder, cries the moment I sit back to enjoy my cup of tea, I can’t think of my days without her ...
How in the middle of the night I change a dirty diaper with just one eye open... when I can’t cross my room in dark without banging into my bed...
How can I spend all time I have with Zoe when I don’t even have the time to brush my teeth or my hair...
How can I be giggling and be extremely sad both on the same day....
How can Zoe howl at one moment and be sound asleep the next....
How did Zoe increase her birth weight and height rapidly but her hair grows at a very slow pace...
How Zoe now is able to sleep without getting up the whole night while I'm wide awake, just seeing she is OK...
I guess I would never be able to solve these mysteries ... but since I'm enjoying it, I would not mind it a bit...

New Age Dads

People keep on harping on the fact that mommies have a huge hand in raising up children. Especially when the children are young infants, it is believed that daddies dont play a huge role.

Well things every where are changing and this perspective about dads sure needs a re-look. It will be unfair to say dads don't play an important role, as the new age dads (most of them) are not only participating but excelling when it comes to parenting. There are various things dads are better at (talking from experience):

• Dads have bigger hands and firmer grips... hence dads are better at burping babies. You manage to help your baby burp comfortably and fast, vis-a-vie a new mom.
• For moms in yesteryears, having babies meant staying hibernated, but for a new mom it is very important to go out shopping, dining etc. When you need to carry your bundle of joy in a sling, dads are better equipped to do it. As they will take longer to get tired.
• Feeding from bottle or solids, as dads generally do not feed and are much more patient.
• New Daddies love putting their little ones to bed, because this is a bonding time for the father and child. Also dads are stronger and the child feels more secure in their strong arms.
  

Parents should remember that their dadies are the strongest, biggest and most powerful in the eyes of their children, hence dads should be proud of being the best dads for their children.

Confessions of a new Mum

People talk lots about mother’s touch, love, and all sorts of emotions attached with motherhood. Frankly speaking (and I want to kill myself for being so blunt and accepting it) the initial few days/rather weeks were tough - to say the least. I didn’t find love flowing and oozing out for Zoe from day one. It is another story now that I can’t keep my eyes off my darling daughter for a second.

Things became tougher because I have never handled kids this small before. The only child I held before I was blessed with Zoe was my nephew. And the first time I took Zefan in my arms was when he was 6 months old. Here I was given the responsibility to not only hold but take care of a small little baby who was hardly couple of hours of age. It is another story that I’m now a pro at handling any child.

People come up with all kind of advice and being a new mommy I did not know what to listen to and what not to. Now I have adopted a simple method. I listen and check the information on Google before following any advice. Also for me, to each his/her own, as no two babies are alike, same things cannot be right for all kids.

When you are pregnant, no one tells you about the not so good things that you face-maybe because of the fact that this period is nothing as compared to the lifelong pleasure of being a parent. Still, for a new mom/dad these things can be very intimidating and can be extremely daunting at times.

To top it all, if you are a working woman; it becomes important for you to take some key decisions in life. Whether you would want to join work back immediately, if yes how would things function at home, etc. This problem becomes huge if you want to continue working and your family isn’t supportive enough.

Amongst all this you successfully become a super mom for your baby (well hopefully, as I still have a long way to go). Right now, I'm just enjoying the experience and looking forward to wonderful years ahead.

3 Months...

3 Months have literally flown with Zoe and I 'm on my way of becoming a Pro-Mom... I'm becoming proud of myself with every passing day... This doesn't mean that we don't commit mistakes... Zoe actually becomes a guinea pig as we do a whole of experimenting. The reason is simple... being first time parents me and Fizz did not know how to handle kids... slowly and steadily we are both becoming better and better. Now actually I can understand whether Zoe is crying because she is hungry, sleepy, not well or plain bored. This learning has come after days and weeks of becoming irritated over the reason of her cry. We are learning new things everyday.

Zoe is slowly and steadily becoming a better sleeper at night (thank God for that). She has also started smiling, laughing and talking (in her own language) more often Mashallah and playing with her various toys (cot mobile, gym, rocker).

One of the best thing is getting surprised by the way your babies change almost every single day. They learn/do new things everyday and these antiques make us smile even if we are dead tired...

I had to take a break here from my writing, coz Zoe was craving for some attention. How much I love writing my blog, it had to take a back seat as Zoe has definitely become my priority right now... Well the good thing is I'm back.

Things have definitely become better now (I get less irritated/hyper now), but the learning will continue for life. The initial 3 months of a baby's life are full of anxiety, excitement, tension, love, happiness and what not. It requires a lot of your time and a huge dose of patience.

It has been an amazing journey and I know it would be even better with every passing day. I would like to mention I would have never been able to survive these 3 months without my hubby dearest (love you for that Fizz, you are the best dad) and my mum...
Here is to parenthood...

Thanks Zoe

I have always been a believer in “Nights are meant for sleeping”, but since my baby Zoe has arrived into my life … things have changed. I don’t mind getting up in the middle of the night to feed her or to change her nappy. In fact at times it’s just being awake to avoid listening Zoe cry … and I happily do all this. I loved going out and enjoying myself but now my schedule revolves around my baby.

If it would have been for anyone else I would’ve cribbed and cribbed; but when it comes to Zoe I don’t feel the C of cribbing or the D of disappointment for that matter.

Like any other new mom, I was skeptical even to hold Zoe during the first few days but now I hug, kiss and caress her all the time now. Just looking at Faizan hold Zoe and play with her, brings tears in my eyes (which don’t come easily otherwise).

I’m loving the development of this strong bond and am looking forward for it to develop even more as time passes …

Love u Zoe and thanks for giving me a chance to get introduced to motherhood…



Just a couple of days to go…

The wait is going to get over and soon my baby will be in my hands… All cuddled up. I don’t know how I will manage, the sleepless nights, the nappy changes, the love and pampering. All rolled up in one. People say I lack patience but would the baby change it all?

All I can say is – wait and watch. I’m curious, excited and extremely nervous… I hope things go well. For once on this topic my lips are sealed and can’t say more.

My Plight

Ever since I got to know that I was pregnant, I dreamt of having a baby girl... Not that I have any grudges against baby boys... It is a matter of choice you see...

Faizan and me have always wanted to have a small little angel, a Barbie doll of our own to play with... For Fizz it will be more of a Princess.

In India getting to know the sex of the baby (whatever your intentions are) is punishable. Hence I couldn't gather the courage to even ask my doc that question.

Old tales can be found a plenty... Different people are predicting different things but the scale is definitely tilted towards a baby girl....

Now that the time is coming close (with only a little over 2 months left), I have prepared myself and just want my baby to be healthy, happy and our lucky charm :-).

S/he should be able to make us proud and happy... Now it is just looking forward with my fingers crossed for our Zoey/Raif to arrive...

For my Angel - From Mommy

Two little hands and two tiny feet
Born to a dad cool and a mum upbeat…

It’s time for hugs and lots of smiles
Cuddling up with the little sole will go on miles

You are the stuff of which dreams are made
So beautiful it was worth the wait…

Presenting Zoe Akhtar who has made our lives special
Not just a part of dreams but this is now for keeps and real…

The Second Trimester - A Joy Ride

I have always been someone who took most of my illness and small pains very easily in life... (Touchwood) I decided to take control of my diet and continued regular exercise in my student years, so have never faced any major health problems (thanks God again, thanks for being an obese child :-). When I got to know I was pregnant all I wanted to do was enjoy my months, and live life like I have never done before. Frankly, after seeing my elder sis going through pregnancy I was a little skeptical about my pregnancy being all hunky dory...

Well the first trimester was tough... With all weakness, mood swings and above all nausea... It was really tough, but I did manage to pull off really well.

The second trimester arrived and things changed as a fairy would have cast some kind of a magical spell. I was glowing, the nausea lessened and then stopped, baby shopping was my priority on weekends (and I was loving it). I loved buying maternity wear and flaunting my bump... Received loads of compliments...

My baby has started twisting & turning, Rocking'n Rolling sometimes... and I am on cloud 9. Every kick, every turn and each sensation makes me feel great.

Now in my 27th week, I looking forward to the 3rd and final trimester to start... Hope I would handle it really well.

A special mention here to Fizz, I have started respecting and loving him even more now (though we have always been inseparable... :-) touch wood.) He has been my support system and is by my side whenever I want him to...

Here is to Parenthood, Cribs, Bibs, Feeds and a Great new healthy life coming into our lives... Here is to being Pregnant :-)

5 Months...