Manners... We Care

Manners, a word we tend to forget about and/or we think, we are too cool for manners. Unfortunately, the truth is manners make you cool. I've (we, hubby & I) always been particular, that our 5 year old always says her thank you, sorry, excuse me, pardon, from her heart... It comes very naturally to her. 

Today, in the morning, when she spoke to my house help (who she refers to as Aunty) in a loud tone, I was sure she needs to apologize. When she didn't, I took the matters in my hands. Instead of forcing her to apologize, which wouldn't have solved the purpose... I had this conversation with her:

Me: You did something wrong in the kitchen, do you remember?

Z: No.... Hmmmm what Mumsy?

Me: Think about it... Something you said to Aunty.

Z: (after thinking) Maybe I shouted at her.

Me: You did certainly shout at her.

Z: oooo... Sorry Mumsy.

Me: You need to apologize to Aunty

Z: (trying to avoid it)...but I'm scared

Me: No Z, you have to do this. You have to apologize.

Z: Can I get some time out (that's the phrase she uses when she wants to be left alone)

Me: Sure, but you know what to do...

Z: OK

After 2-3 minutes, she entered the kitchen apologised to the house help, smiled at her, gave a little hug and went back in her room... After a couple minutes I entered her room. Another thing, we believe in as a family is giving space to each other. I sat beside her, squeezed her hand

Z: Thank you Mumsy.

Me: (smiling) Do you feel better now?

Z: Yes Mumsy, I love you.

Book Review - The Midnight Library

Imagine a library opened through the night, with the most amazing books to read... with an adorable little librarian and a few library helpers, who are nocturnal. Imagine visitors facing problems of one kind or another and the librarian helping them with the perfect solution. I got this and much more from The Midnight Library by Kazuno Kohara (I would like to thank an acquaintance here, who introduced me to the wonderful world of Kazuno Kohara). I love the author, and The Midnight Library is the best of his work, I have read thus far.

When I heard about The Midnight Library, I knew I had to pick it up. When I did, I could see a lot of myself in the book, and so did Z. 

The book takes you (and the child of course) to a beautiful world of the The Midnight Library. And what a world it is. Z was totally mesmerised by the book and she has read the book over and over again, since. This book is simple. The magic of this book lies in its simplicity, the illustrations and sweet little situations, which any child who frequents a library would relate to.

If you are looking for a nice soothing bedtime read for your 3-5 year old The Midnight Library by Kazuno Kohara is a perfect pick.

To Be a Girl's Mum

** This post was written for MyCity4Kids

When I was pregnant, I so wanted to have a baby girl, but something inside me told me I'll have a baby boy. I did try to prepare myself.

On the 26th of November, 2010, I was pleasantly surprised when I held my precious little baby in my arms. I confirmed and re-confirmed it with Faizan, and then I just couldn't hold back my tears. My parents brought 3 daughters in this world, 3 head strong, independent, very opinionated daughters. And I was blessed with one on that day.

In these 5 blessed years, I have experienced a lot of moments, moments which were extraordinary, moments where I wanted to tear my hair, moments where I consoled her and moments where she gave me a shoulder to cry on.

I can talk to her and I know she's listening, she'll not zone out. I might not be the 'only girl' in the family, but I truly have a BFF in my family. Someone I can completely rely on, and I can talk to whenever and wherever I want. I know I'll never be 'judged'. I'll always be the best for my Z.

When I hear some people go...

'Oh My God! Girls are so cute, pretty dresses, clips, dolls..."
"Do you play dress up everyday???"
"Awwwww! Do you have to hide your make up already?"

Let me tell girls might be all this (might), but they are much much more.

Well, Z gets lots of cute dresses (as well as jeans, shorts, shirts) and clips, not because we play dress up... but because, I have good taste ;-). Her hair is long and nice, but she prefers tying it in a bun or high pony when she goes out cycling or playing. She doesn't like dolls (yes you heard that). No, she doesn't like makeup maybe because she rarely sees her mum use it.

Being a mum of a girl is way way way beyond all these Ahhhhh, Oooohhhh, Awwwwws.

Unlike the popular belief, Z shares a beautiful relationship with not just her Fizz, but with her mum as well. She gets pampered rotten by her dad and looks up to her mum... Everyday when I get up, I have to make sure I set the right examples for my 5 year old, because she looks up to me. I'm her favorite and so is her dad (girls know how to balance relationships, and so do boys. In fact, any child raised in a sensible manner will love her/his parent, I'd like to believe this).

She is emotional, strong, dramatic (very), funny, all this and much more... She's my little bundle of joy. I can hug her, kiss her, cuddle her and I will not get those 'what are you doing mom' looks.

Beside books, she loves her Lego set, her kitchen, her crayons, her racing cars and her bike. Whatever she does, she completely gets engrossed into it. You should see how creative she can get with her colors as well as her legos.

I have always maintained how blessed I feel when I think of Z and how she has made our life beautiful. I don't know how it is to have a son, but I, as a mum feel, I'm lucky to be a girl's mom... I'm lucky to have a daughter like Z. Alhamdulillah

2015...the year the was.

I did start blogging actively in 2015, but unfortunately, I was not able to keep the momentum going. Overall this was a good year, though we as a family did have to go through two huge losses in the year. My dad-in-law and my grand mom expired, this meant, I had to explain the concept of death to Z. We were able to do pretty well on that front, she did get a little upset though.

Professionally, Alhamdullilah, I did pretty well. I did start a kid's reading library of my own, I realized a childhood dream. It is not easy to balance entrepreneurship and mommiehood, but it is not impossible, actually it is absolutely worth it.

Enough about me, since the name of this blog is Being Zoe's Mum, let us talk about the person whose always in spotlight, at least as far as BZM is concerned. Here are a couple of things which happened in 2015:

• We graduated to chapter books, we still don't want to let go of our picture books (Mum hopes we never do that). Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton and Amelia Bedelia Chapter books are our favorite. 
• We visited Mussoorie, such a beautiful beautiful place. 
• We made lots of new friends.
• We got a new hangout, the Reading Room (Oh! I love that place, I can sit there for hours)
• We had our first dental operation, and everyone says I was super brave
• We had our first birthday party
• We turned 5 (yay!)

I hope 2016 turns out to be totally rocking, happy and super healthy for Z, Fizz & Me. Here's wishing the same for all of you.

Don't forget to relax with a cup of coffee/tea and a book

Tuesdays are our days of bonding, I don't work on Tuesdays and without daddy, both of us are left to ourselves... we love that. We go for movies, lunch dates, shopping and have a lot of fun. Last Tuesday, when I picked Z up, I asked her "So, what's the plan?" She thought for a couple of seconds and replied "Let's just relax at home Mumsy"... and relax we did.

We chatted, read, called for a pizza, listened to some music, build a lego house and just 'lounged' around the house. No agenda, no deadlines, no hurry nothing. When I read a book to Z at bedtime and I kissed her goodnight, she smiled and said "I loved doing lots of fun stuff with you today Mumsy." Those lines echoed in my ears even after Z was fast asleep. I realized how much I enjoyed doing nothing with my Little Miss. Actually we did a lot of things in those hours of doing nothing... we laughed, we danced, we shared, we read, we enjoyed those moments. That day, after a long time I realised the importance of doing nothing.

No one can deny the fact that parents have a huge role to play in shaping the personality of a child. You do a lot of things for the child to learn and understand the way of life, things, which will benefit them in the long run. I have a long list of stuff, I tell Z. We have so much to achieve as parents (and otherwise) that we forget the best things life has to offer.

An imporant life lesson I would like to pass on to Z is "Don't forget to relax with a cup of coffee/tea and a book..." Life is too short to constantly stay on the go. Go out there and achieve what you want to, but once in a while (every other day) do not forget to take out a few minutes to just sit doing absolutely and completely NOTHING.

5 Amazing years of Z-Ness

Dearest Darling Z or Mini-Me,

5th birthdays have a huge hype around them, like your firsts. It's supposed to be a birthday where a little child suddenly turns into a big boy or girl, but I remember you have been trying to prove that you have become a big girl from the time you were born. I dare not call you a tot or a baby, because you get super offended. You still are a baby in so many ways... so the big girl tag will have to wait for a few years...

So, my dear 'little girl' (hope that gets approved), you have come a long way... In fact, we have come a long way. 5th birthday has to be super special, and it'll be exactly that and much more.

Z, you're a little girl who has a personality of your own. We cannot make you do something until you're completely convinced. The way you react in a situation amazes me. You are someone who never cease to surprise me (us). Each day you show us, how you can independently handle things you were unable to just a few months back.

Sometimes, you just say something and I have no choice but to marvel at your intelligence. Your thoughts, and the way you put things across just leaves me stunned. And then, all of a sudden, you become a little baby, craving for attention, laughing at the silliest things, enjoying the simplest of things and just love being the baby you still are (oops I'm sorry).

You're super smart (Alhamdulillah) and you're also extremely naive as well. When I compare many other 5 year olds with you, I clearly see that. You don't whine the whole day long, the boy v/s girls thing hasn't touched you a bit (I'd like to take credit for that), you don't hit, pull, bang, you're moody but never disobedient.

In short sweety, you're my rock star (have always been, will always be).

Your love for books and reading is something that's stayed with you from the time you were a little baby. Your books are one of your best buddies. In fact your love for books just keeps growing. From The Hungry Caterpillar to Dahl and Enid Blyton, you have come a long way.

You're a skinny little girl who loves to eat anything and everything we eat. That's an achievement for us as parents. You like junk, but before we have to remind you, you remind yourself it's not healthy.

You're Mumsy's little helper in every way. You help me at home as well as at the centre. This is something I just love about you (besides many others). You just love helping everyone (not just me). The reason being, you love limelight, but nonetheless, you are my best helper.

The little shy Z is going away, and I see a more a confident you emerge every single day.

You are pretty head strong and you have almost perfected the art of expressing what is not acceptable. No, don't get me wrong, you're not a difficult child, in fact, you have been quite a blessing (Alhamdulillah). You're headstrong, and I love you for that. I'm strong willed as well and I love to see that element in you.

That doesn't make you any less sensible. In fact, the other day I was observing you at Hamley's. A big reason why you visit Hamley's is because there's a tub of water with pretend fish and other sea creatures in that. You love playing with them. That day, a boy pulled out all the fish you were playing with. You didn't fight, you patiently waited for your turn. When he pulled the fish again, you politely said 'Please can we share?' and you did get what you wanted, the way you wanted it. I was so proud of you.

I try to be a mum who is your friend when needed, but you should always remember me as your mum first. The reason is simple, you'll have many friends, but I'm the only mom you'll have.

Fizz and me have a message for you.

Here are a few 'words of wisdom' from your Mumsy:
a. You can be anything you want. Just respect yourself and love your self for who/what you are.
b. This world is full of different kind of people... good, not so good, silly, smart, et al. People might want to judge you, might want to put you in their own mold... Don't fall in that trap. NEVER. Don't let people bother you, its not worth it.
c. You have your opinions, others have theirs. Don't force yours on others, don't shy away from expressing your opinions as well.
d. Never change yourself, just because someone else would like it that way.
e. We are individuals first, then boys and girls. You, as an individual are special, and no less. Society has set certain stereotypes, follow them if you like, break them if you wish.
f. Peer pressure will take you no where. 
Here's what Fizz wants to say, "Stay who you are, don't change yourself for anyone."

Always always always remember your Mumsy and Fizzy are right besides you when you need us. Some people might claim they love you more than your parents... Not true.

Happy Birthday once more girl.... Keep Rocking and May Allah Ta'ala bless you always

Lots of Love 

Mumsy

The Unconventional Mom: That's me

I'm a pretty unconventional mom, I feel like that because I hardly see or read about moms like me. I do see some of the likes of me around me, and those are the ones I connect with instantly (mostly).

Definition of a Mom has changed over the years (and thank God for that).

I can fight with Z for that last piece of chocolate, its just that I don't like chocolates.

I let Z get bored, because I feel she will eventually find something to do... which she does.

I make sure, I have a conversation (a proper conversation) with Z every day (and I'm not talking about "How was school?" "Okay" kind of conversations). No matter how busy I'm. I trust her, when she tells me something, I try to leave what I'm doing and LISTEN.

I'm not the first one to rush to her if she falls, if she can get up on her own, I'm happier.... I feel better when she gets up, dusts herself and gets back to what she was doing.

I don't miss my workouts or my classes and Z knows she cannot disturb me until its really important.

I do make Z do the household chores, especially her work. She helps me at my center as well.

I let Z eat her meals, even though that might mean a mess most of the time.... but she loves it.

I'm that mommy who is OK if the child doesn't want to have her lunch when I want her to.

I do make sure I hug Z whenever I can every single day.

I do shout and I apologize as well, if I'm at fault.

Z gets her time outs when she needs to cool down and so do I. We sit in the same cool corner...

My life doesn't always revolve around Z and at times I have to schedule her day based on my schedule.

Do I get judged... Yes... Do I care... No (not any more). Am I happy with the things I do? Mostly... and I'm ready to learn and become better.

Thankfully, I confident, I'll manage just fine... because just like other 'perfect' moms out there, Z tells me every single day how much she adores me. I know I'm perfect for Z, as all of you are for your kids. Whether you're as weird as I'm or I'm as proper as someone can be... We are all great parents (moms) to our kids.

Book Review - Brave Irene

Brave Irene

I love the read-aloud videos on storyline online website, when I heard/saw Al Gore read Brave Irene by William Steig (http://www.storylineonline.net/brave-irene/). I had to buy this book, and I'm glad I got two copies (one for Z and one for the Reading Room).

I love books with strong characters (female characters). These books are loved by Z as well, and we discuss about these books which talk about nice strong girls after reading them. Z created her own story, 'Brave Zoe' after reading this gem.

The story and illustrations by the award winning William Steig (he received the Caldecott Medal for Sylvester and the Magic Pebble), are beautiful. This is another gem by Steig.

The story is about a young little girl Irene, who loves her mom, she will do anything and everything to help her mother.

The relationship Irene and her mother share, the language, Irene, the illustrations and the narrative, I love everything about this one. It is a very simple tale but will definitely touch a cord somewhere in your heart and your little one will love it. I always get a big bear hug from Z when we read this one, can I ask for anything else?

Book Review - Mirette on the high wire by Emily Arnold McCully

"Mirette on the High Wire" won the 1994 Caldecott Award and I can easily see why. It is such an amazing read, after reading it, Z's reaction was "Mumsy, I want to walk in the air." I picked up this one for The Reading Room and Z borrowed it from there. The book amazes me at many levels, and I get a similar response from my 4.5 year old. 

Being a mum of a little dreamer, I have a huge responsibility of not only letting her dream; but also telling her that when you fall you can get up and become stronger. I love books with intelligent, strong, smart female characters, and Mirette is that and much more. Mirette has so much about herself, but she is also someone with whom little girls will connect with easily.

The story takes place in Paris more than a 100 years ago, Z is obsessed with Eiffel Tower & Paris... I knew she'd love it. Mirette is a little girl who's mum runs a small boardinghouse, and Mirette helps her mum with chores. The boardinghouse is filled with different performing artists, jugglers, actors, mimes, acrobats etc. One day, a famous tightrope walker named Bellini comes to the boardinghouse. All he wants is privacy, Mirette watches him practice in the backyard and she instantly wants to learn Bellini's art. Bellini takes Mirette as his pupil after a lot of convincing from Mirette. Once a great tightrope walker, Bellini is scared now. Will he overcome his fears and walk again??? Well, you'll have to read the book to find out. 

The book teaches us to believe in our-self and it is not preachy at all (that is another thing I love about it).

The illustrations are pleasing to the eye, and they do justice to the amazing story of Mirette & Bellini.

Just a girl who loves to read (Besides lots of other things)

Genius... Child Prodigy... 'She's something else'... These are the kind of things I hear when I post about Z reading. I'm a Mom who loves capturing Z's reading moments most of all, because she is super happy with books. Still when I hear the words mentioned above I get scared, I get irritated, I get offended to some extent. Why?

Well the answer is pretty simple, when you throw such huge words on a normal child it is tough for the parent and for the child. Z was not born reading, she started reading at 3.5, so did many other kids out there. It's just that, 'normally' this doesn't happen, that doesn't mean it never happens.

I have seen many kids start blending at 3.5 - 4 years. Every batch of ours has at least 1 child like that. Keeping this in mind, Z is not a genuis or a child prodigy... So thank you for your compliments ... But no thank you.

She started reading because, she loves books, she has been read to or she has read for at least an hour a day, every single day... This has NEVER been forced.

She started reading because, her school and I were on the same page. She learned her sounds in the correct manner.

She started reading because, she was blessed with a good visual memory and good ear for sounds.

Most of all... She started reading because, SHE WANTED TO READ ON HER OWN SO BADLY.

She still skips words, reads too fast at times, doesn't know anything about expressions while reading... And she'll get that... We aren't in a hurry.

She does understand what she reads though, if she doesn't... She will read again and again. Or she will ask us a 1000 questions.

Maybe she learned to read as she was lucky to be surrounded by books and to have adults in her life who take out time from their lives on a daily basis and read to her.

And here's a message from the so called 'genuis' or 'child prodigy' herself (well these are my words, but if Z would've said them, she would've said the exact same thing) "Don't weigh me down with these huge words... I don't even understand them. Let me just be, and enjoy my book. Don't think I need to be praised for what I love doing. Yes, oh yes, Mom is proud of me, when I read nicely and understand the words I read. She gets super irritated when I skip a word or two. She never says no for a book for sure, but its not the same case for many other things. I'm lucky to have my books and I can also borrow them from the Reading Room. So, whether I knew how to read or no... I  would've enjoyed my books as much."

Book Review - The Book With No Pictures by BJ Novak

The Book With No Pictures by BJ Novak is one of the best book we have picked for Z and for the Reading Room recently. We fell in love with the book when we saw a video (see below) of  BJ Novak reading the book out to younger children. It was such a laugh riot. I have always believed, for Z, the illustrations and story line are equally important. 

Here was a book staring at us, which only didn't have any pictures, but also was very plain 'just to look at' with white cover and white pages and mostly black text.

Here was also a book which didn't have a 'story' to tell. Yes, for my daughter who has fallen in love with longer story lines and fiction, you might have thought, this one could have been a no... but, you forgot a little thing about us at Being Zoe's Mom. We have to read books everyday, and when we can get a new book, which looks 'yummy' (yes, books are yummy)... why won't we read it.

This book is all about how you read it out. Your voice, your expressions, your tone, taking your listeners along with you (whether their is 1 or 100) on a hilarious journey. If it comes to you naturally then you and your child/children will love it. If you are someone who believes in adding a lot of yourself into what you read you  to get your hands on this one.

If you are more of a "Once upon a time....... blah blah blah" (read in your most boring voice) person, then this gem by Novak is not for you.

We at BZM love this one, for the super concept, the laughter, the reading adult making a complete fool out of herself/himself and of course the "Blork" "Bluurf" "I'm a Robot Monkey", "Boo Boo Butt".... etc. Z loves it. 

I have read it for kids in the book club, I keep on reading it to Z and every read aloud is a super experience.