Separation Anxiety

Poor Zoe has been crying (read shrieking) her lungs out, as soon as I left her on the couch to attend to some assignments. Whoever thought it was very easy to work from home is highly mistaken, and doesn't has a baby fighting with Separation Anxiety to take care of. Right now, if I go in front of Z without completing the task at hand, she will start it all over again.

Separation Anxiety is something which is extremely hard to deal with. Even if you have a house full of people, the baby wants to cling on to you. It is EXHAUSTING to express it mildly.

It has been a rough week for Zoe, we have been on a holiday to some relatives and she is not used to seeing so many people around. Everyone wants to hold her or hug her. My baby doesn't understand its out of love and hates being touchy-touhy.

At first, when your baby is born she feels you and her are the same person. Then she develops as an individual, this sets in the fear of getting abandoned. The stage can start anywhere at 6 months and continues for a few months. A baby can have separation anxiety till two years of age.

When eventually your baby starts growing and developing higher level of independence and self-awareness, she would get over separation anxiety.

Try to leave your baby with others for a few minutes, so that she gets used to being with someone else.

I just hope my Z gets over this stage and becomes the friendly baby she once was as soon as possible. Till then I would have to live with my baby clinging on to me....

9 Months have flown... Cheers to 9 months of ZoeMoe

I'm writing this a couple of days in advance, coz I would be a tad bit busy on the D Day itself.

Zoe will be turning 9 months soon and I really can't come to terms with the fact. When Z was born I wanted her to reach this phase real fast, coz for me the thought of handling a small baby alone was a little daunting. Didn't know its going to be so fast.

Last 3 months have seen her master new tricks every now and then. That means I have to become extra careful of where she is and what she is upto. From sitting, to crawling, to trying to stand with support to saying 'Da-da' all happened in the last 3 months. Another thing which she has developed (which most 9 months old do) is that she loves dropping things and loves it when we pick these articles up. As soon as we give it back to Z, she drops it again after a couple of seconds... (there goes my back again)...

She is becoming an individual with every passing day, she has her own set of mood swings, tantrums, loves getting attention and when she needs her me time she wouldn't even give you a second look no matter how hard you try. She is actually so much like me and Fizz in her own sweet way. Like me she is an attention seeker and loves being around with people, if you ignore her... she shouts, speaks non-stop, and does all possible things to attract your attention. Like me again she is a drama queen, she is a total entertainment channel. Just like dad dearest she is short-tempered and just like him she knows how to charm people. She has also developed a new found attraction to gadgets be it the remote, cell phone (she prefers my blackberry over her dads :-( ), plugs and wires (just like the both of us... or just like most babies). That meant we should not only be careful but baby proof our house as well.

That is actually as of now, let us see what happens in the coming months and how she shapes up as an individual :-). Next couple of months will see me preparing for her 1st year completion Insh Allah, trying to lose some much needed weight, and spending more and more time with my baby.

Allah has blessed me and Fizz a plenty and sent an angel in our lives. God Bless Z and God bless us.

Cheers to New Mommies World.

When you become a mom you become a part of a brand new group, a group comprising of Sleep deprived, exhausted, memory impaired women. You are able to connect with this group as soon as you give birth to your baby. What follows is lots of comparisons, discussions and debates. No one can understand the plight/happiness of a new mom but a new mother herself (A live example is our very own group).

This new found club, a unique union does not require a formal meeting. In fact some people hardly know anything about each other than the fact that their babies fall in the same age group (well almost). All members aren't like minded which at times gives rise to heated debates on topics like breastfeeding v/s formula, diapers v/s nappies, girls v/s boys, working v/s SAHM and so on.

New moms can also boost of a new kind of humor which only "Moms" can understand. Discussing baby poops can make mommies laugh out load, the short-comings of a new dad brings the much needed smile on our lips.

The bonding that happens is amazing. Mom groups are so powerful, that all of a sudden a sis-in-law who you couldn't see, becomes your sole mate. The newer moms who join the group, need a ear to listen to their queries and the 'experienced moms' flood them with suggestions. It becomes the responsibility of the experts to inform the new mommas about colic, swaddling, starting solids, etc.

The best part of this bonding is we celebrate the smallest victories only we can find.

Tip Time: Talk to a new mom who you know. Remember, instead of loading her with advice, listen to her, sympathize with her, and tell her about one of your hilarious and embarrassing new-mom screw-ups. She will not only appreciate it but be grateful to you.

Here is to our New Mommies world... Happy Bonding and Happy Parenting.

Hmmmmm... How I wish...

The moment I knew I was pregnant with Zoe, I had always wished for a normal delivery. I always wanted to feel the moment and I wanted to witness the birth of my baby in front of my own eyes.

All was good during my pregnancy, I didn't face any problem what so ever (touch wood). All my tests were good and my doc was quite happy.

My baby was due 14th Dec 2010, and on Nov 25th I went on a routine check, it was a Thursday and I was working from Home. I wasn't feeling good since morning (just mood swings or maybe it was a sign) and luckily Faizan took an off that day.

The doc sensed something wrong and from afternoon till midnight, we were shuffling between a nursing home (where my doc used to check us) and Apollo Hospital where the delivery was scheduled.

At midnight I was told the position was critical as the baby had passed meconium in the tummy and I had to be operated.

Zoe was born at 1:06 am on 26th Nov and I saw her only at 3am that day... I wasn't in my complete senses and when I heard my daughter was born I was elated. My doc told me that the problem wasn't with me, if Zoe wouldn't have pooped ;-) I would have had a normal delivery...

Zoe will soon be turning 9 months, and I still wish it was a normal delivery. I don't know how labour pains feel like, I don't know what it feels when you are going through the entire process, I donno what my baby looked like just the moment she came into this world. I don't know...

Still I can't thank Allah Ta'ala enough for the angel He has blessed us with. Love u my baby.

My Baby is suddenly becoming a Little Girl

It is amazing to keep a track of milestones and I just love seeing my baby achieve them. Since birth she has achieved all her milestones on time (Mashallah). All of a sudden now it has become one of my daily chore to keep a track of these developments.

My sweetheart has been literally doing a new thing every day since she turned 6 months in end of May 2011. One fine Sunday morning when I got up from my sleep I saw Zoe sitting on the bed all by herself, without any support.

As if this wasn't enough, a couple of days later I saw Zoe picking up a piece of Roti and keep it in her mouth with her two small little fingers.

2 Weeks later we were having lunch at out favorite cafe and Zoe all of a sudden stood on her own two feet with support of a couch.

It is amazing to see her grow and develop new skills. This also means you have to be more watchful and careful. With these new developments come lots of falls and slips. Where the baby is bond to get hurt.

All I'm doing now is enjoying her grow and be close to her just to keep a track on my little baby... ooops Little girl.

New Age Dads - Part II

Till recently (read till a little over 7 months back) I was of the opinion that when it comes to parenting, daddies always play a secondary role... Moms always have an upper hand.

Most of the credit for development of this mind set actually goes to us women, who believe its our job to care for our babies.. I remember, my mum had come to visit us, I was having dinner and Faizan was watching TV... Zoe started crying... the moment I looked at Faizan my mum gave me a dirty look (she wanted me to go and attend to Zoe).Per her, how can I expect my 'Poor Husband' to make Zoe calm.

Thankfully my husband doesn't believe in 'parenting is only momma's job'. He can take complete care of Zoe (which he does on weekends). Infact there are things which I have to learn from him... like bathing Zoe, entertaining her and feeding her patiently.I would like to believe that most dads these days have become extremely hands-on. They can do anything if required, from changing a dirty diaper to making her go to sleep.Gone are the days when daddies just existed (especially when the baby was really small). New age dads have a role to play in the child's upbringing from the day the baby arrives in this world...
We are proud of you new daddies... and for those who still live in the past era... you have a lot to learn from the new-gen dads....

Life Now and Then

Fizz asked me what I'd like to do over the weekend.... "Let's go to Brigade Road.." to which I said "Naah, it's completely open, we can take Zoe to some mall". He then said let us go and watch KungFu Panda2, and my answer "Are you kidding me? What about Zoe"... "Accha let us go to BBQ Nation for lunch..." "Faizan... that is time for Zoe afternoon nap." And, we welcomed another weekend where we ate at home, went to a mall for 2 - 3 hours, bought stuff for Zoe and got back home.

Where has my life bought me?

Couple of months back, my daily schedule was fixed. I got up, got dressed, went to office after a quick breakfast. I didn't worry about my lunch and dinner, knew we will have something or the other. I didn't have to rush back home and leave my work half done.

Me and Fizz are movie buffs. We didn't miss a single movie and watched at least a movie per week... at times two. Now I don't remember how fresh popcorn smells.

Since school, I loved reading. I used to have a new book to read every month, there was no night where I slept without reading. Now my reading is limited to fairy tales. I make sure I read to Zoe before she goes to bed. I read stories which I have read nth number of times... Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Goldilocks...

Couple of months back, I was very regular with my exercise, but now I hardly get time. If I take out 15 mins a day for my exercise, I feel like an achiever.

Sometime back, I loved pampering myself, spas, haircuts, etc. Now taking a bath also means a 'rush bath' because I have to take a bath when my baby sleeps and hurry back as I'm scared 'what if Zoe gets up?'

Weekends meant trying out new restaurants just a few months back. Now the situation is such that a very popular Bangalore eatary is just a stone's throw from our place... but we can't even think of going there.

I used to shop for my house and bought whatever I liked, but now I have to make sure stuff I buy for my house doesn't have sharp corners... As it is just a matter of couple of weeks before Zoe starts crawling Inshallah.

But then, just a few months back I didn't know how nice I'd feel after small little fingers wrap around my fingers.
I didn't know how my heart would ache when my baby cries...
I did not realize I'm excellent at making new stories and turning hindi songs into lullabies...
I did not know someone can not only eat but love mashed banana with milk and mashed papaya.
I didn't realize I can laugh out loud and make fun of myself to just get a glimpse of the 2 little teeth...
I didn't know how painful it would be to see my new born in the low birth rate group, and how happy I would feel to see her Mashallah doing great in a matter of couple of months.
I didn't know anything but a movie can make me awake all night. Now I can stay awake without a blink just looking at and kissing my baccha.
I never realized I would stop (read shout at) Zefy (my nephew) from doing anything, until he shocked Zoe's rocker.
Just some months back I did not imagine I would clean someone's potty.

I just never knew all this and so much more... I didn't realize what I was missing out on...

I didn't know all this coz I wasn't a mom then which I'm now...

My Pricess Mashallah completes half a year

My baby has turned 6 months today (Mashallah) and I can't express the feeling... I'm elated, happy, feel even more responsible, excited, and what not.

Zoe means 'full of life' and ZoeZo has definitely added a new life to Fizz and my life. We can't express how incomplete we were before Zoe was born. It feels that. my life was completely incomplete and Zoe more than completed it. The past 6 months have truly been a roller coaster ride.

When Zoe arrived, the first month saw a scared and skeptical me. I have never handled kids before, leave aside small babies... and here there was a small little life completely dependent on me.

By the second month, my apprehensions became lesser and I started getting irritated. There were times when Zoe cried endlessly and I couldn't understand why she was doing it. She just cried, slept and had milk. Still there were things which I loved in the second month, Zoe started smiling, resembling me more, by the end of 2nd month her colic reduced considerably. The last thing was a HUGE relief.

The 3rd month saw Zoe playing with mommy & daddy... she loved her bouncer, her cot mobile and her pram rides. Now the irritation reduced loved cuddling, taking care of, or just seeing ZoeZo.

The actual test started from the 4th month, till now had loads of people in the family to help me take care of Zoe, but now I was left all alone (Barring the 2 weeks my mommy was with me... Love You Ma). We shifted to Bangalore. Surprisingly my bebu took the change very positively. Mashallah, She started sleeping through the night, her feeds became regular, towards end of 4th month solids were introduced and ZoeZo (Mashallah) took it very nicely.

The fifth and sixth month have been even better (thank you so much Allah), Zoe started responding, laughing out loud when someone spoke to her. Teething was a bit of an issue but when I saw two beautiful teeth sprouting (which are still on it's way) I was so happy, all my worries disappeared. She has now started trying to sit up unassisted which she will Inshallah accomplish soon (will keep you guys posted).

To end it, this would be incomplete without a message for the family from Zoe...

Ammoo : Love you Ammoo, please come soon to Bangalore, I miss the food you used to make for me.
BabbieAmmoo : Mumsu says you have met me, but I hardly remember, I want to meet you real fast
Aanie : Miss you Aanie, I will come to Delhi soon Inshallah... Love the loads of pretty dresses you have given me...
Khalujaan : You were my buddy in Delhi, miss u KJ
NooKha : You are beautiful NooKha, that is why I used to love watching you dress up. Will you teach me how to apply makeup and dress right when I grow up?
BhaiJaan : Ailaboo, I miss you bro, please come to Bangalore real soon.
ShaluAmmoo : I used to love sitting on your lap... come to Bangalore soon
PeeKha : I just love it when you call me Mumpy Pumpy Princess. Miss you so much PeeKha.
MaazMoo : You should speak more often to me and stop clicking my pics whenever you see me.
ImmMoo : Mumsu says you are my God Father, please come to Bangalore real soon, and tell me why should I call you my Godfather...

And now a message for the JhingBang who hasn't met me...

KJaan and H'Cha : I hope to see you all in November, please come...
Jaan and SimMaami : I can't wait to meet you all in Nov, visit Bangalore before that please... Mumsu says you (Jaan) and Mumsu have had a great time growing up, please temme your stories
Farru Ammoo: You just keep saying you will pull my cheeks, I'm waiting... Love You (I would love to eat all the delicious stuff you make)
ZoKha: Mumsu says when ZoKha will come we will have lots of fun, I miss being with you ZoKha, I wanna be there with you. Come and visit me real, real, real soon
ZeeKha: I'm waiting for you to come. Mumsu tells me before I became mumsu's princess, Mumsu had a princess already,that was you.
FuKha: Please come and play with me. I loved the birthday party invitation you sent...
Maamu Naana/Maami Naani/SashooKha: I will be in SPN for my Birthday, be ready to pamper me to the core.

Thanks ZoeZo for being 'full of life' like your name. Love you my baby.

Happy Mother's Day (Belated...)

I wanted to write this blog on mom's day, but being a mother is a full time job... No I don't mean a 9-5, 5 days a week... but it sure is a 24*7 duty. So please excuse me, and I will forgive myself, better late than never... And here I'm.

On Mother's day, lemme sit back and think what actually it means when you say "I'm a mom"... Being a mom is not easy to explain, but I will try to give it a shot.

It is an Adjustment:

Realizing that your family itself has become bigger and the new entrant will remain your focal point for years now, is a huge adjustment. Want to go out shopping, need to catch a late night movie, candle lit dinner with your partner, a good night's sleep, you will have to think about the baby before making any plans and cancel them many a times. Last Saturday for instance, I had to cancel my appointment with my hair stylist because my baby wouldn't let me go...

It is Tough:

Loving your baby is a different story all together. Bathing them, taking care of everything they want, feeding them, consoling them, is a different story all together. You cannot meet your friends, can't exercise with a baby crying (besides your body goes through all sort of pains.), you are exhausted, your relationship with your spouse is hard to maintain.

It is not everyone's cup of tea:

Everyone who sees your baby goes ga-ga over them. Someone I know commented on my baby's pic on FB "Awwwwwwww, she is so beautiful, even I want one". Then she asks me, have you watched Chalo Dilli in the theater. Guess she didn't notice the dark circles I have in the picture. I wanted to shout "You will NEVER EVER understand". It isn't a joke, the baby is completely your responsibility and you got to give up almost everything.

After saying all this let me tell you the biggest truth...

It is REWARDING:

I'm falling short of words... You get a high when you do a task well... If you multiply that feeling with a zillion.... trillion... That is the feeling that every mom has when her baby smiles/laughs at her, kisses her, hugs her, says "I love You Mommy"... When they learn to say 'Ma' or any new word... Read... go to school...

Moms are of different kinds, strict, lenient, loving, introvert, working, home makers... Some loved their pregnancy others hated it. Still I have never come across any mother who would trade places with someone without a baby and want to live without her little one...

So enjoy every moment... from hugs to hair falls, body aches to compliments... Enjoy Parenting...Love You Zoe...

Reality Check: Wake Up and Smell The Coffee

I clearly remember having a huge discussion (read argument) with my elder sister on whether a woman should leave her job after having kids, to raise them of course... I was completely backing the stance of a full time working mom while my sister was pro SAHM (Stay at home moms).

Well, I guess I should’ve done a reality check before arguing... but it happens with me many a times, that I say things before thinking. Anyways, now with a baby and completely no one to help (except my husband of course, who has been a sweetheart and helps me way beyond what I imagined); I can’t think of working full time. I’m working as a freelancer and haven’t given up a career for good. Still people say things like:

“So you have finally given in and decided to become a homemaker?”

“Freelancer? When do you plan to take up a full time career?” 

People still feel that a woman can either be a good mom or a successful career woman... Well, I beg to disagree. as  

Being a mom is a full time job – yeah clichéd as it may sound, it is a fact

Freelancing is as good a career choice as being a full time career person

A successful career woman can be an equally successful mom, like a successful career dad...

Here I would say, to each her own. Whatever choice you make, make sure you decide way before the baby comes into your life; and once the decision is taken don’t regret it.

Mysteries that will always remain unsolved for me...

At times I sit and wonder (that is when I can take out time to ponder from my busy days)...
How can I love someone immensely who has just been with me for a little over than 4.5 months?
All Zoe does the entire day is pull my hair, drools till she wets my shoulder, cries the moment I sit back to enjoy my cup of tea, I can’t think of my days without her ...
How in the middle of the night I change a dirty diaper with just one eye open... when I can’t cross my room in dark without banging into my bed...
How can I spend all time I have with Zoe when I don’t even have the time to brush my teeth or my hair...
How can I be giggling and be extremely sad both on the same day....
How can Zoe howl at one moment and be sound asleep the next....
How did Zoe increase her birth weight and height rapidly but her hair grows at a very slow pace...
How Zoe now is able to sleep without getting up the whole night while I'm wide awake, just seeing she is OK...
I guess I would never be able to solve these mysteries ... but since I'm enjoying it, I would not mind it a bit...