Sleep-a-thorn in progress

Did I mention about a marathon in my last post... Well its just that the baby is continuously on the go... Place her on the high-chair and she can take a 180 deg turn... On the floor I have to literally follow her and keep an eye on her, else she gets herself into trouble.

Gone are the days when Zoe slept peacefully.

The problem, my dear friends doesn't end here... She is as mobile in her sleep as she is while she is awake. Its like a sleep-a-thorn as I like to call it. She sleeps through the night (thankfully) and generally by 9.00-9.30 (max) she is in her bed. We cover her from all the sides with pillows and cushions... Still we need to check on Zoe every hour... You might have made her lie down in the center of the king size bed but whenever you go... She is all over the bed except at the place we did leave her last. Her favorite sleep position is like an ostrich... with her head dug in the bed and her hips in the air...

Unfortunately for me, I don't have a sound sleep at all... Even if she moves slightly during the night we get up, and then it takes a good one hour for me to go back to bed... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz Good Night all...

Guest Post - This is especially for my Love

I am in love… the kind of love that I have never experienced before. This is totally different, as I have no expectation from the other party because I know she loves me too.  I am all lost in her thoughts, she makes me smile, her acts are so funny that they take away all my stress. She has the cutest smile in this world and best pout (PS: Even Priyanka Chopra, my favorite actress, is “Paani cum Chai” in front of her). At times she keeps me awake till 3-4 in the morning, at times she sleeps for good 10 hours at night. And you know what…I love to see her sleeping. She has her own set of tantrums and I love to do whatever she wants me to.  She loves to shop, and I love to spend on her. She is my darling Daughter ZOE.

Zoe is one of the best things that happened to me another best thing was when I met her Mother, Falak. Before Zoe came to my life I used to avoid infants. The only thought of having a kid was enough for me to run away. Thanks to my sisters and brothers, I have seen their babies and I used wonder why do people carry a baby around everywhere. I used to think life can be good without a child. Why can’t they be born as toddlers or for that matter as adults? Why do they always have to cry? Why are they so delicate? A baby to me came with lots of question marks.

All my questions were answered when Zoe came into my life. She changed the way I looked at babies. She gave birth to a father to a completely new person actually. Now, I love kids. I understand them; understand their language which they communicate through touch, expression, smiles and tantrums ofcourse.

Now when I look back, I wonder how I survived without Zoe being in my life. If I don’t see her for few hours, I feel a kind of a vacuum. I rush back home after work because I know I will be welcomed by a sweet smile. No matter how bad the day is at work, her smile makes my day.

Thank you my little pumpkin for blessing me by being my daughter.

Month 10: Zoe on the Move

Zoe now a days is always on-the-go... It feels like she is going to take part in a marathon of some sort...

She has been moving all around the apartment and doesn't even need an energy drink. Not just cardio, she is also doing rock climbing (read objects like tables, people's legs, her crib etc.), push-ups, sit-ups, et al.

I checked with her Ped if it was O.K... And she said "Look at her, she is so active. You should be happy"... There I turn to see Zoe trying to pull herself out from her dad's firm grip.

A couple of weeks back I was terribly upset with the shape I was in. Now I know, its gonna be OK in a matter of some months. Considering the fact that I have to run after Zoe, pulling her away from table corners, drawers, newspapers, plugs and what not. She is a nice and healthy baby now (Mashallah) so after my workout and running after Zoe, pulling her back, picking her up... By the end of the day I literally have no energy left. My body aches from the day long full-body workout.

I always look forward to my weekends where I can hand over Z to Faizan and relax. Strangely, when I get the time to do that, I miss my running around Zoe... Ahhhhhh motherhood.

Not fit to be a Mom...

Zoe got up earlier than usual today... why today? I just came back to Bangalore last night from a nice but tiring holiday... the house was in a mess, spent most of my night cleaning up with Faizan, I wanted to sleep till late as it was a Sunday... but Zoe had other plans. I let her first babble and then cry in her crib for a good 5 minutes before I decided to pick my baby up. Yeah... Yeah I know you all must be thinking what kind a mom am I... How can I let my baby cry for 5 long minutes.

Well, this is me... a mother who doesn't want to lose herself in the process of becoming a mom. That does not for sure means becoming selfish when it comes to Zoe. For me becoming a parent (especially a mother) is about learning and unlearning, about discovering yourself and not forgetting about yourself. It's about exploring a whole new world with your baby's eyes. More than anything else I believe in enjoying the entire process and not becoming stressed over small things.

For me bringing up a baby is not only a mom's responsibility but dads should be equally responsible. That is why when Faizan wants to do something (a lot of things) for Zoe I don't mind at all. I let him do it, in fact I like it as, because of Faizan I get the much needed time with myself.

People who know me tell me 'what kind of mum are you?', 'how can you let Faizan take care of the baby alone?', 'you are a mother, you should not sleep till late on weekends'... In short they think I'm not fit to be a mom...

I don't need to answer them, I know that I might not be the 'conventional mother' but I'm The Perfect Mother for Zoe. If that would not have been the case, why would a crying Zoe only become quiet in my lap? why does she only want to cling on to me when my baby is not feeling good?, why does she need me when she is sleepy? My Zoe might not convey it to me in words (just yet) but I know when she would be able to speak she will tell me... "Mumsu, you are fit to be only Zoe's mum, Love u"

Separation Anxiety

Poor Zoe has been crying (read shrieking) her lungs out, as soon as I left her on the couch to attend to some assignments. Whoever thought it was very easy to work from home is highly mistaken, and doesn't has a baby fighting with Separation Anxiety to take care of. Right now, if I go in front of Z without completing the task at hand, she will start it all over again.

Separation Anxiety is something which is extremely hard to deal with. Even if you have a house full of people, the baby wants to cling on to you. It is EXHAUSTING to express it mildly.

It has been a rough week for Zoe, we have been on a holiday to some relatives and she is not used to seeing so many people around. Everyone wants to hold her or hug her. My baby doesn't understand its out of love and hates being touchy-touhy.

At first, when your baby is born she feels you and her are the same person. Then she develops as an individual, this sets in the fear of getting abandoned. The stage can start anywhere at 6 months and continues for a few months. A baby can have separation anxiety till two years of age.

When eventually your baby starts growing and developing higher level of independence and self-awareness, she would get over separation anxiety.

Try to leave your baby with others for a few minutes, so that she gets used to being with someone else.

I just hope my Z gets over this stage and becomes the friendly baby she once was as soon as possible. Till then I would have to live with my baby clinging on to me....

9 Months have flown... Cheers to 9 months of ZoeMoe

I'm writing this a couple of days in advance, coz I would be a tad bit busy on the D Day itself.

Zoe will be turning 9 months soon and I really can't come to terms with the fact. When Z was born I wanted her to reach this phase real fast, coz for me the thought of handling a small baby alone was a little daunting. Didn't know its going to be so fast.

Last 3 months have seen her master new tricks every now and then. That means I have to become extra careful of where she is and what she is upto. From sitting, to crawling, to trying to stand with support to saying 'Da-da' all happened in the last 3 months. Another thing which she has developed (which most 9 months old do) is that she loves dropping things and loves it when we pick these articles up. As soon as we give it back to Z, she drops it again after a couple of seconds... (there goes my back again)...

She is becoming an individual with every passing day, she has her own set of mood swings, tantrums, loves getting attention and when she needs her me time she wouldn't even give you a second look no matter how hard you try. She is actually so much like me and Fizz in her own sweet way. Like me she is an attention seeker and loves being around with people, if you ignore her... she shouts, speaks non-stop, and does all possible things to attract your attention. Like me again she is a drama queen, she is a total entertainment channel. Just like dad dearest she is short-tempered and just like him she knows how to charm people. She has also developed a new found attraction to gadgets be it the remote, cell phone (she prefers my blackberry over her dads :-( ), plugs and wires (just like the both of us... or just like most babies). That meant we should not only be careful but baby proof our house as well.

That is actually as of now, let us see what happens in the coming months and how she shapes up as an individual :-). Next couple of months will see me preparing for her 1st year completion Insh Allah, trying to lose some much needed weight, and spending more and more time with my baby.

Allah has blessed me and Fizz a plenty and sent an angel in our lives. God Bless Z and God bless us.

Cheers to New Mommies World.

When you become a mom you become a part of a brand new group, a group comprising of Sleep deprived, exhausted, memory impaired women. You are able to connect with this group as soon as you give birth to your baby. What follows is lots of comparisons, discussions and debates. No one can understand the plight/happiness of a new mom but a new mother herself (A live example is our very own group).

This new found club, a unique union does not require a formal meeting. In fact some people hardly know anything about each other than the fact that their babies fall in the same age group (well almost). All members aren't like minded which at times gives rise to heated debates on topics like breastfeeding v/s formula, diapers v/s nappies, girls v/s boys, working v/s SAHM and so on.

New moms can also boost of a new kind of humor which only "Moms" can understand. Discussing baby poops can make mommies laugh out load, the short-comings of a new dad brings the much needed smile on our lips.

The bonding that happens is amazing. Mom groups are so powerful, that all of a sudden a sis-in-law who you couldn't see, becomes your sole mate. The newer moms who join the group, need a ear to listen to their queries and the 'experienced moms' flood them with suggestions. It becomes the responsibility of the experts to inform the new mommas about colic, swaddling, starting solids, etc.

The best part of this bonding is we celebrate the smallest victories only we can find.

Tip Time: Talk to a new mom who you know. Remember, instead of loading her with advice, listen to her, sympathize with her, and tell her about one of your hilarious and embarrassing new-mom screw-ups. She will not only appreciate it but be grateful to you.

Here is to our New Mommies world... Happy Bonding and Happy Parenting.

Hmmmmm... How I wish...

The moment I knew I was pregnant with Zoe, I had always wished for a normal delivery. I always wanted to feel the moment and I wanted to witness the birth of my baby in front of my own eyes.

All was good during my pregnancy, I didn't face any problem what so ever (touch wood). All my tests were good and my doc was quite happy.

My baby was due 14th Dec 2010, and on Nov 25th I went on a routine check, it was a Thursday and I was working from Home. I wasn't feeling good since morning (just mood swings or maybe it was a sign) and luckily Faizan took an off that day.

The doc sensed something wrong and from afternoon till midnight, we were shuffling between a nursing home (where my doc used to check us) and Apollo Hospital where the delivery was scheduled.

At midnight I was told the position was critical as the baby had passed meconium in the tummy and I had to be operated.

Zoe was born at 1:06 am on 26th Nov and I saw her only at 3am that day... I wasn't in my complete senses and when I heard my daughter was born I was elated. My doc told me that the problem wasn't with me, if Zoe wouldn't have pooped ;-) I would have had a normal delivery...

Zoe will soon be turning 9 months, and I still wish it was a normal delivery. I don't know how labour pains feel like, I don't know what it feels when you are going through the entire process, I donno what my baby looked like just the moment she came into this world. I don't know...

Still I can't thank Allah Ta'ala enough for the angel He has blessed us with. Love u my baby.

My Baby is suddenly becoming a Little Girl

It is amazing to keep a track of milestones and I just love seeing my baby achieve them. Since birth she has achieved all her milestones on time (Mashallah). All of a sudden now it has become one of my daily chore to keep a track of these developments.

My sweetheart has been literally doing a new thing every day since she turned 6 months in end of May 2011. One fine Sunday morning when I got up from my sleep I saw Zoe sitting on the bed all by herself, without any support.

As if this wasn't enough, a couple of days later I saw Zoe picking up a piece of Roti and keep it in her mouth with her two small little fingers.

2 Weeks later we were having lunch at out favorite cafe and Zoe all of a sudden stood on her own two feet with support of a couch.

It is amazing to see her grow and develop new skills. This also means you have to be more watchful and careful. With these new developments come lots of falls and slips. Where the baby is bond to get hurt.

All I'm doing now is enjoying her grow and be close to her just to keep a track on my little baby... ooops Little girl.

New Age Dads - Part II

Till recently (read till a little over 7 months back) I was of the opinion that when it comes to parenting, daddies always play a secondary role... Moms always have an upper hand.

Most of the credit for development of this mind set actually goes to us women, who believe its our job to care for our babies.. I remember, my mum had come to visit us, I was having dinner and Faizan was watching TV... Zoe started crying... the moment I looked at Faizan my mum gave me a dirty look (she wanted me to go and attend to Zoe).Per her, how can I expect my 'Poor Husband' to make Zoe calm.

Thankfully my husband doesn't believe in 'parenting is only momma's job'. He can take complete care of Zoe (which he does on weekends). Infact there are things which I have to learn from him... like bathing Zoe, entertaining her and feeding her patiently.I would like to believe that most dads these days have become extremely hands-on. They can do anything if required, from changing a dirty diaper to making her go to sleep.Gone are the days when daddies just existed (especially when the baby was really small). New age dads have a role to play in the child's upbringing from the day the baby arrives in this world...
We are proud of you new daddies... and for those who still live in the past era... you have a lot to learn from the new-gen dads....

Life Now and Then

Fizz asked me what I'd like to do over the weekend.... "Let's go to Brigade Road.." to which I said "Naah, it's completely open, we can take Zoe to some mall". He then said let us go and watch KungFu Panda2, and my answer "Are you kidding me? What about Zoe"... "Accha let us go to BBQ Nation for lunch..." "Faizan... that is time for Zoe afternoon nap." And, we welcomed another weekend where we ate at home, went to a mall for 2 - 3 hours, bought stuff for Zoe and got back home.

Where has my life bought me?

Couple of months back, my daily schedule was fixed. I got up, got dressed, went to office after a quick breakfast. I didn't worry about my lunch and dinner, knew we will have something or the other. I didn't have to rush back home and leave my work half done.

Me and Fizz are movie buffs. We didn't miss a single movie and watched at least a movie per week... at times two. Now I don't remember how fresh popcorn smells.

Since school, I loved reading. I used to have a new book to read every month, there was no night where I slept without reading. Now my reading is limited to fairy tales. I make sure I read to Zoe before she goes to bed. I read stories which I have read nth number of times... Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Goldilocks...

Couple of months back, I was very regular with my exercise, but now I hardly get time. If I take out 15 mins a day for my exercise, I feel like an achiever.

Sometime back, I loved pampering myself, spas, haircuts, etc. Now taking a bath also means a 'rush bath' because I have to take a bath when my baby sleeps and hurry back as I'm scared 'what if Zoe gets up?'

Weekends meant trying out new restaurants just a few months back. Now the situation is such that a very popular Bangalore eatary is just a stone's throw from our place... but we can't even think of going there.

I used to shop for my house and bought whatever I liked, but now I have to make sure stuff I buy for my house doesn't have sharp corners... As it is just a matter of couple of weeks before Zoe starts crawling Inshallah.

But then, just a few months back I didn't know how nice I'd feel after small little fingers wrap around my fingers.
I didn't know how my heart would ache when my baby cries...
I did not realize I'm excellent at making new stories and turning hindi songs into lullabies...
I did not know someone can not only eat but love mashed banana with milk and mashed papaya.
I didn't realize I can laugh out loud and make fun of myself to just get a glimpse of the 2 little teeth...
I didn't know how painful it would be to see my new born in the low birth rate group, and how happy I would feel to see her Mashallah doing great in a matter of couple of months.
I didn't know anything but a movie can make me awake all night. Now I can stay awake without a blink just looking at and kissing my baccha.
I never realized I would stop (read shout at) Zefy (my nephew) from doing anything, until he shocked Zoe's rocker.
Just some months back I did not imagine I would clean someone's potty.

I just never knew all this and so much more... I didn't realize what I was missing out on...

I didn't know all this coz I wasn't a mom then which I'm now...